Jul 21, 2015

It's all about the balance. (Ah well, and riot on.)

I think I'm a pretty self-aware individual. In order to know others, one must first know oneself, and I am infinitely interested in knowing (and understanding) others. Humanity is fascinating, in all its violence and tenderness. I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses, and I try not to be apologetic about either.

My astrological sign is, appropriately enough, Libra. The scales: the symbol of my life philosophy and of the way I think and behave, both consciously and unconsciously. It's almost enough to make one believe in a cosmic order. But celestially-influenced or not, my life really is all about the balance:

I believe in equality.

I enjoy things, but I am not fanatical about them. I am fundamentally unable to understand the drive to covet, to hoard, to consume something in its entirety. Fanaticism tips the scales, and my scales don't like being tipped.

I am an omnivore.

I can see both sides, almost always. And if I can't, I try. (This does not mean that I can't be hurt, but I will always try to understand.)

When a relationship is more work than fun, I think nothing of divesting myself of that person. I have been accused of being cold and unfeeling for this behaviour, when in reality I am simply maintaining the emotional balance. I can be no other way, any more than my fanatical friends can stop themselves from being fanatics.

I like rectangles and symmetry and parallel lines.

I believe in accepting our differences, but I also want to change the world. I want to impose my sense of order as much as I want to let you do your own thing.

I am bitter and caustic, but also considerate and kind. My optimism and my cynicism are constantly at odds with each other.

It's a hell of a lot of work, truth be told, balancing these opposing desires. Sometimes I wish I could just stop struggling and give in, let one side slam down and the other fly up. Maybe wear a one-sleeved tunic or something. I know I never can, though, because it's all about the balance.