Nov 8, 2017

Modern Romance

We are standing together in the same place at the same time. Would it be agreeable to you if we exchanged pleasantries?

Hello.

May I ask your name?

My name is ----. It is very nice to meet you.

May I inform you that I find your physical, emotional, and intellectual presence interesting and engaging?

I have noticed that you are occasionally glancing at my lips. We are standing close together and our bodies are turned toward each other. Your arms are not crossed. Your legs are not crossed. I am also looking at your lips. May I kiss you?

Would you like to have sexual intercourse with me tonight? Please sign here that you are not intoxicated and have agreed of your own free will to consider having sexual intercourse with me tonight. This is not binding. This signature only states that at --:00 on ---, you are agreeable to the idea of sexual intercourse with me. You are free to make this contract null and void at any time by expressing "No," either verbally or physically. 

Since we have changed locations and are no longer in a public place, could you please sign here that you are not intoxicated or being coerced in any manner, even though the two of us are now alone, and that you have agreed of your own free will to engage in behaviour that may, should you agree, lead to sexual intercourse and the completion of orgasm? 

Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases? Could you please sign here stating that you do not have any sexually transmitted diseases?

Do you agree to use a condom in order to protect us both from illness and/or pregnancy? Could you please sign here stating that you agree to use a condom?

May I kiss you again? Please initial here that you have agreed to let me kiss you again.

May I place my hands on your body? Please initial here that you have agreed to let me place my hands on your body.

May I remove your shirt and bra and touch your bare breasts? Please initial here that you have agreed to let me touch your bare breasts.

May I kiss you again? Here? And here? And here? Please initial here that you have agreed to let me kiss you again, here, and here, and here.

May I remove the rest of your clothes? May I also remove my clothes? Please initial here that you have agreed that we will remove our clothes.

May I touch you between your legs? Please initial here that you have agreed to let me touch you between the legs.

May I insert my penis into your vagina? Please initial here that you have agreed to let me insert my penis into your vagina. 

Would you like to change positions? Please initial here that you have agreed to change positions.

Please continue to inform me with words that what we are doing is acceptable to you. Unintelligible sounds are not sufficient. Please say, "Yes, please continue" if you would like me to continue. 

Please sign here to confirm that the terms of our contract have been fulfilled.

I will provide you with a way to contact me in the future, but you are under no obligation, either legal or emotional, to do so. Please sign here that you agree that we are under no obligation to contact each other in the future.

Thank you for your participation, and good night.